Birds and Badgers
by Raven Aorla
Summary: River knows angels and demons were why Earth was destroyed, and a handful of angels and one demon helped humans to safety in the stars. With a passenger, Castiel, now aboard Serenity, how she knows this is more important than ever.
1. Chapter 1

Not my characters. Mixes _Firefly_, _Supernatural_, and _Good Omens_. I have enough unfinished fics that I feel guilty starting another one, but this simply won't let me go.

Firefly - Post-Serenity

Supernatural - Nothing after Season 5 is canon.

Good Omens - Crowley and Aziraphale "made the effort" and having been making that effort for centuries.

...

Mal went to the bridge to let River know it was time for dinner, and she could feel free to put Serenity on autopilot. He wasn't surprised that she turned to look at him before he said a word.

"I have a story to tell you," she said, playing with a lock of her long black hair.

"Do you now, Albatross?"

"Won't take long, we can go eat after I'm done. It's a little way of telling a big story." It was hard for her to explain about the things she knew and learned the way she shouldn't have been able to, at least in terms that made sense to others, but she was getting better at it. "Earth-That-Was nearly died many times. Many times. There were those that fought for it. Big Damn Heroes. One day it was too much. They knew Earth-That-Was would die, and they couldn't stop it. So they pushed all the folk they could to build the ships that would save them, and flew them to safety in the arms of the angels that loved them. So we never walked the Earth again. And they do not walk among us, leaving enough alone. Except..."

Zoe came up behind Mal. "Sir? Just received a wave. We have a job, and this one's even legal, if you want to go negotiate."

"Lovely story, darlin'. Best you get some food before Jayne gobbles it all." Mal headed towards his quarters.

River allowed herself a secret, slow smile. "Here come the birds," she whispered.

...

"Now I want all of you to be polite to Mr. Castiel here," Mal announced to the crew as they stood around the gangway, gawking at the new passenger. "He's paying us good money to take him to Badger."

Zoe had fallen ill, unusual for her, so she was not present to meet Castiel in the flesh when the rest of them did. The man was not very tall, but seemed solid and stern. He wore an old-fashioned black suit, a blue necktie, and a tan overcoat. Kaylee thought he would be cute if he smiled - she loved Simon but no harm in looking at a bit of _shwie. _Simon thought he seemed a little off in some undefinable way, like he wasn't used to being a person, which made no sense at all. Jayne wondered if the fella needed some laxatives or something.

"How long until we reach Persephone, Captain?" Castiel asked, inclining his head slightly.

"Shouldn't be more'n a week if all goes smooth. Will you be needing help with your things?"

"Beyond safe and speedy passage, I think not."

"I mean, your, um, your luggage."

Castiel tilted his head quizzically. "I have no luggage. Perhaps we should depart now."

"O..okay..." To cover his bewilderment, Mal turned to his crew and barked, "Everyone back to your posts. Doc, since you haven't got someone to attend to at the moment, show Mr. Castiel to his cabin if you would be so kind."

Simon nodded and approached the new passenger as everyone else trickled away. River gave him, and then Castiel, a huge smile and a wink before she returned to the bridge. _Ai-ya, _she had better not taken too much a liking to the man...Simon was hoping this stage of worry wasn't quite upon him yet...

"Doctor Simon Tam. Pleased to make your acquaintance," Castiel said, as if by rote.

"Thank you. Follow me, Mr. Castiel." Simon led him towards the sleeping quarters.

"Castiel will suffice."

"Is it your first or last name?"

"I do not understand the question."

Simon wondered if the man was teasing him, but those bright blue eyes seemed nothing but sincere. "Your family name or given name. Which is it?"

"My family..." Castiel looked distant for a moment. "My family name is 'Winchester'."

...

Kaylee knocked on Castiel's door after she'd finished inspecting and maintaining the engine. "Hey, Castiel?"

"You may open the door," Castiel replied.

She saw him sitting on the edge of his bunk, feet on the floor, hands by his sides, with his shoes and coat still on, looking at nothing in particular. "Simon and Jayne and I was going to play cards. We usually bet with chores, but you don't have to bet or nothin', I just thought you might like some fun."

"I do not wish to be a burden."

"Oh, no, not at all! It's nice to meet new people." And she beamed at him.

He stared at her for a moment like she was something both precious and puzzling. Then he stood. "I will do my best to learn the game."

...

After the first two rounds while he was still learning, Castiel won every single hand of the game. By the sixth round Jayne growled, "This ain't right. You said you'd never played before."

"And I never have. I played poker once, long ago, but not this. Are you not having fun?"

"I think you're cheating."

"Why would he cheat if he's not wagering?" Simon asked.

"And you should be nice to someone new," Kaylee added.

"You are suspicious of others, yet you are the least moral and cleanly of us here," Castiel commented.

Jayne scowled and gave him a small shove. "Fancy or not, you don't get to insult me."

That's when the little man with hands that looked like they'd never seen a day's manual labor picked Jayne up by the front of his shirt, not using any visible effort. "Please, I am not here to pick fights with the people of this ship. And you are distressing the others." He put Jayne back down. "Got it?"

Jayne gulped and nodded. "Got it."

...

Zoe and Castiel both picked at their food when mealtime came. "I don't know what's up with me today. Can't seem to keep anything down," Zoe mumbled.

"It's because you're with child," River said nonchalantly. What's worse is that Castiel said it as well, at the exact same time.

A long, awkward, shifty silence descended upon the crew. Castiel looked at everyone. "I mean to say, congratulations."

"Gorramit, Mal, you picked up another gorram Alliance experiment!" Jayne put his hand on his knife.

"Seems there's some things you didn't tell us, Mr. Castiel," Mal began.

But before he could continue or anyone else could jump in, River said, "He was at the Academy with me. They had good success but he couldn't fight so well because they found him older. Stronger, not so quick. They said he died on the table. Must have fooled them. Must have escaped. No one's after him, though. He's quite safe. Safer than me."

The other crew members seemed a bit dubious about how plausible this was, but River sobbed very convincingly at her "painful memories".

...

"Why did you lie for me?" Castiel asked, standing in the doorway of River's room.

"Because you're made of light and ice, fire and sky. Because they're not ready. Because you're not the first angel I've met."


	2. Chapter 2

Still not my characters. For the purpose of this fic's backstory, when God/Chuck brought Castiel back the second time, He also brought back Anna. (Remember that I'm not considering Seasons 6 and 7 canon.)

_**...**_

_**Two years earlier...**_

So cold River was on her narrow bed in a sterile white room with a lock on the door, even with the blankets curled around her. The incision just over her left ear was still healing. The stitches itched but it hurt to scratch them. Anyway she was in no hurry to be strapped down again.

In the past few weeks, since her sixth surgery (she'd been forced into eight so far, though the most recent two were under local rather than general anesthetic), she had begun hearing voices that told the truth, unlike the voices after her first few months that spoke only in fairytale, rhyme, and physics equations. Eventually she realized they were the thoughts of those around her. They ran all together, whispering. Never at her. She was a trespasser, not a guest. Until tonight.

_Hello? Hello? Does anyone hear me? I've been alone for years now. _

This was directed, like a voice in her head, and moreover it was kind and gentle. It felt like dusty paper books. It felt like tea and feeding crumbs to birds in the park, like hugs, sweaters on a chilly day. It was the loveliest thing she'd felt since coming here. But sad.

River did her best to focus. _i hear i hear you are not alone where are you are you trapped like me the princess in the tower here here hear here_

_Oh, my dear child, you're all in pieces. What are they doing to you?_

She wondered if she'd ever develop that level of control. She was getting used to receiving but had never transmitted before. _identity name rank serial number who are?_

_My name is Aziraphale. I'm an angel. They won't let me leave. They rarely even let me wake up._

_..._

"We talked every time I was alone," River told Castiel, whom she had eventually lured into sitting beside her on her bed rather than awkwardly lurking in her doorway. "He told me about all the times the world nearly ended and the day when he and ones named Crowley, Castiel, Balthazar, Annael, and Rachel helped save us from the Earth that was foretold would be destroyed. He told me that Michael and Lucifer managed to rise again to scorch the world with their battle, but since even an angel, if they are in their vessel, cannot fly through space, you found the loophole to rescue and preserve what really mattered."

Castiel sounded thoughtful. "Crowley was one of the original Fallen, the Serpent of Eden, but came onto the side of humanity, partly through love of Aziraphale, the angel that drove Adam and Eve from Paradise. Having finally put Heaven into some semblance of order in the absence of our Father, who did finally speak through Joshua to say He lived and loved but had grown tired of directing His children and wished for us to stand on our own, I thought it good to locate my remaining two brothers. The practice of cultivating bloodlines to create suitable vessels for angels has died out due to our recent...workload...and they are the only two operatives who have bodies of their own, having dwelt in the mortal sphere since the first humans."

"What about Jimmy?" River asked.

Castiel started a little, but remembered who he was dealing with. "Jimmy Novak rests in Heaven when I am there as well. But he granted me permission bring him back to life and assume his form again for a brief time to complete my mission. He is a good man."

River tilted her face to search Castiel's. "It's not just about use, though. The Righteous Man taught you about brothers. You want to help your brothers."

At this, Castiel actually smiled a tiny bit. "A benefit, at least, of being an angel is that mortal death is no barrier to time with human friends."

...

Crowley had chosen the name "Badger" as a joke to himself that would make it easier to remember. He was the Serpent of Eden, right? And honey badgers bludgeoned snakes to death and ate them. It had seemed reasonable, even funny, at the time, but then again he'd been very drunk at the time. Because those humans had taken his Zira. Taken him he didn't know where, for he didn't know what.

Finding and saving his angel was not a matter of tearing the thirty worlds of this solar system apart. If it had he would have been done in time to have lunch with Aziraphale at one of the finest restaurants in the Core that very same day. He needed to do this subtly to keep Aziraphale from getting hurt, and any humans getting caught in the crossfire, because even though he'd been a demon for a very long time he was _not _anything like Lucifer, or Michael, or those other bastard archangels - except he did have a grudging respect for Gabriel, when it came to panache if nothing else.

So he built up a reputation and a criminal network. Raising funds. Making connections. Gaining debtors who would be only too glad to give him a favor, a nudge, a bit of information when he needed it. He kept it carefully hidden that any slaves he personally purchased were quietly set free, any things stolen were from people who could spare it (or were complete arseholes), and otherwise his level of mayhem never went beyond genteel bounds. Zira would have wanted that.

Only one person had ever seen through his disguise. River Tam. She had a warrant for her arrest, as did her brother, at the time they met, though the warrant had since been pulled from the Cortex. When he'd been wrapped up in some petty smuggling with the help of Malcolm Reynolds and the rest of the _Serenity _crew, he was almost brought to undemonly tears by the slight touch of Grace emanating from the slip of a girl, the little touch of Heaven's light that meant she'd had personal contact with the most loving fuddy-duddy of an angel that had ever existed.

They'd spoken with words, she giving a very accurate summary of the life story he'd made up for "Badger" in a parody of the accent he'd adopted to seem less posh, but unbeknownst to everyone else they'd had a rapid-fire telepathic conversation as well. Crowley's telepathy was rusty, not having had anyone to practice it with for decades, but she was practically leaking psychic power.

Mind you, her mental grammar was a good deal less focused than her verbal one. _you Aziraphale you know you were with saw loved London Earth ducks in the pond the Ritz the cottage by the lake Aziraphale you loved you love you hurt you miss?_

He contained his excitement so as not to perplex the onlookers. _You have seen him?_

_no heard spoken with thoughts like this trapped on Osiris at Academy all I know sorry good luck he was kind Aziraphale my friend told me stories told me truth good luck Osiris Academy_

When she finished her bit of mimicry and left, he couldn't help but say aloud, "I like her."


	3. Chapter 3

One of Serenity's atmospheric modulators failed when they were two days away from Persephone, and it was unsafe to continue with only three functioning, so they made a brief stop to Shadow, the nearest inhabited moon, to pick up a new one.

"You're welcome to leave the ship and stretch your legs a bit if you're back in four hours at the latest," Mal told Castiel, whom he had been treating very gingerly since the revelation of his psychic powers.

Castiel rose from his seat in the lounge area next to the dining room. He'd been holding out his hands to help River wind yarn that she planned to knit into a blue scarf. A significant amount of yarn was still looped around him, so after a moment of confusion he hung the skein on a chair arm. "That way it won't tangle," he said softly.

River beamed at him. Mal noticed she'd been smiling a lot more lately, and generally because of their passenger. While it was not really his business it discomfited him somewhat. Though really, what sort of person was the little one going to fall for, mind and troubles like hers?

"There's a nice bunch of trees near here," she offered, also getting to her feet. "You like parks."

"Yes, they remind me of the quieter parts of Heaven," Castiel replied. Huh, Mal thought. Kinda poetic.

Kaylee was off haggling for the new atmospheric modulator. Mal had told Jayne to go with her, make sure she didn't get cheated, robbed, or sold into slavery - though thankfully that last one was rare on Shadow. Zoe was off seeing a gynecologist, since they had made landfall anyhow and Simon was not a specialist in those matters.

That left the doc to edge towards him as Castiel and River left together, River chatting as cheerfully as he'd seen her in a while. "I have some concerns about our passenger," Simon said.

Mal knew exactly what Simon meant, but he felt himself in a teasing mood. "I've noticed he never changes his clothes too. They never seem to get dirty despite."

Simon glowered. "I can understand River feeling attached to someone who has had similar experiences. But I don't think it's healthy."

"It's not like he's been encouraging her or whatnot. Man's stick up his _pigu _has a stick up its _pigu, _far as I can tell. If it would make you feel better you're welcome to spy on them, though considering how your sister can massacre a whole bar by herself you'd best be careful. Either way I'm saying nothin'. I'll stay with the ship if you wanna take a walk."

Simon nodded and headed out.

...

River lay in the grass, staring up at the sky. "What's it like in Heaven?" she asked.

"For humans, we have been working on making it different," Castiel replied from his perch on a tree stump. "When Father first left us the angels in charge at the time put each human soul in essentially a replay of their happiest memories, to keep things...low maintenance. But since then we have worked to make it more rewarding and less lonely. Having felt loneliness myself I do not wish it on the innocent."

River was about to reply when she screamed and convulsed. Castiel dropped to her side. "What's wrong?"

"Reavers_,_" she gasped.

Simon, from his vantage point behind a clump of bushes (more for his own emotional security than anything, since he knew full well both the others could probably sense him) was ready to grab River and run back to the ship. But he froze when he saw Castiel's calm reply. "Which way?"

With a shaking hand, curling into a fetal position, River pointed. And Castiel _vanished into thin air. _

There was an explosion in the sky - a huge fireball.

Then Castiel reappeared without a speck on him. "That was fairly simple," he said, awkwardly stroking her hair to comfort her. "Simon Tam, you may as well emerge from your hiding place."

Simon did so reluctantly. "Now, _this _is what going mad feels like," he grumbled to no one in particular.

"You have questions," Castiel said.

"First...what did you do?"

"I boarded their ship and showed them my true self. It has a tendency to overcome mortal beings and physical structures. I also shouted, as I was annoyed, and given that my real voice shatters glass and batters roofs when I am trying to be gentle..."

"Lovely," Simon squeaked.

"You are wondering what I am."

"He's an angel of the Lord," River said, sounding impressively composed.

...

"There's no such gorram thing as angels!" was Mal's very predictable reaction as everyone sat around the dining table, once River had successfully gotten them off Shadow and on course.

"He made the Reaver ship explode," Simon repeated for the umpteenth time.

Castiel rolled his eyes and reappeared right behind Mal without traveling in between. He tapped him on the shoulder. "Your disbelief is understandable; we generally no longer interfere in the doings of humans on the mortal plane. We restrict ourselves to running Heaven."

"Ooh, Heaven's real?" Kaylee asked, delighted. When everyone looked at her she said, "Well, don't anyone else find that a comfort?"

"Yes, Heaven is real. So is Hell. But Hell only takes those who delight in cruelty and hatred, unlike what many would have you believe - Heaven is utterly indifferent to your sexual behavior and petty indulgences." Castiel now appeared in one of the previously empty chairs. "I do not truly look like this; my real form is approximately the size of a Core world skyscraper and the sight of it would at the very least burn out your eyes. Even showing you the shadows of my wings, scaled down to the body I am wearing, would burn out at the electronics in this ship, so do not ask me to demonstrate."

Jayne asked, "If you're so powerful, why do you need to hitch a ride on a ship?"

"I cannot fly through the emptiness of space without destroying this human body. Vessels that are capable of containing angels without combusting are extremely rare, and in addition it can be hard to obtain the permission of the human, for the body must be living. My vessel, Jimmy, is a devout man whom I last wore over five hundred years ago, and allowed me to bring him back to life to serve this high purpose."

Zoe had not spoken up till now - she tended to be very quiet these days - but she asked, "You can raise the dead?"

Castiel looked at her, not unkindly. "It is only allowed when it is to serve the purposes of Heaven."

River said, "Cas?"

The abbreviation seemed to startle him. "Yes, child?"

"When you find the Serpent he'll want us to find the Guardian. And this crew's suffered on my account. There is no amount of money that would be enough to make them risk the Academy and the Alliance. But they would do it if you promised them Wash." At his blank look she clarified, "Hoban Washburne. Zoe's husband, child of their father. Raising both him and Book would likely be too much for Heaven to bear, but give us Wash again and they will move mountains."

Castiel pondered this. "Will you do the work more effectively with our without him?"

"With!" Zoe nearly screamed.

"We don't know what we're agreeing to yet..." Jayne said.

"I. Don't. Care." Zoe replied.

"At the Academy where River was held," Castiel explained, "they have one of my brothers trapped. The one you know as Badger is actually a demon, thousands of years old, who fell in love with the angel in question."

"Is that even possible?" Simon asked.

"Yes." Castiel said curtly. "If you agree to undertake this, we shall contact Badger, whose Fallen name is Crowley, and tell him we will help him rescue Aziraphale. In return for this agreement I will restore to you Hoban Washburne. I must make you aware that River would be a suitable vessel for one of my sisters, Dina, and that if your assistance proves insufficient to accomplish this mission the only way to succeed will be to press her into service. Should she give consent you would be unlikely to see her again."

"And I would say yes," River said, her eyes vast and dark.

Simon turned to her. "_Meimei..."_

"Aziraphale was my friend. He's been trapped for decades now. And as thanks the angels would keep the crew of _Serenity _safe from all harm until natural death of old age in return."

"But I wouldn't have you!" Simon replied.

"Then I suggest you all perform to your best," Castiel said, not cruel exactly, but cold. One could see now how not-human he was.

No one had time to object, though, because Wash stepped into the room, wearing the clothes he'd died in. "Hey, guys, I seem to have passed out or something. Did we get to Mr. Universe okay?"

Zoe shrieked and ran to embrace him. Kaylee started to cry. Mal stood stock still. Jayne fainted.


	4. Chapter 4

"You've been dead for three weeks, and I brought you back to life in exchange for the crew helping me rescue one of my brothers," Castiel informed Wash as Wash was busy being kissed all over by a clinging and weeping Zoe.

Wash blinked, and a look of alarm crossed his face where before had only been confused delight. "So I wasn't dreaming."

"No, you were in Heaven. I'm an angel of the Lord. Allow the others to convince you."

Zoe paused to tell him, "I'm carrying our child."

This made Wash's eyes grow large. "Wow. Just...wow."

"Also we did get the word out about Miranda," Kaylee added conscientiously, coming up to hug him as well once Zoe untangled herself from him. "Inara went back to the training house. We found out River can kill Reavers, though it isn't fun for her. And, and, and we missed you."

"Welcome back," Mal said, shaking his pilot's hand.

"Thanks, Mal. Is Jayne passed out over there?" Wash asked. "If so, I suggest we draw things on him."

"I think I have a pen somewhere," said Simon.

River kissed Castiel on the cheek, to his amazement. "Thank you, angel."

...

"Boss, we've got some people to see you," said one of Crowley's minions, entering the tent where he did negotiations, a ways away from his actual hideout.

"Very specific. Who are they? I'm a busy man, I do not have time for just any -" And that's when Castiel appeared in front of him.

"Hello," Castiel said quietly. "I brought some friends with me."

Malcolm Reynolds, Zoe Washburne, Jayne Cobb, and River Tam joined them. "Going to go get your Zira," River said, touching Crowley's shoulder. "Time for a badger to go back to a bird."

"I gotta say, I always thought you were a despotic lowlife, but I never quite guessed how 'low' the life was." Mal said. Crowley was ready to turn on him, hackles raised, but when he saw the sympathy and beginnings of a smile on the captain's face he found himself grinning back.

"How'd you arrange this, Castiel?"

Castiel surveyed the tent they were in, as if not sure what he was searching for but searching all the same. "River is a potential vessel and had destiny about her. Then she told me how she had spoken with Aziraphale. I have paid my share of the fee; negotiate with them as you like."

"You can have anything you want if you succeed," Crowley told them, trying to keep the choke out of his voice. "I only started being 'Badger' so I could find him. Whatever your doctor spent getting River out, I'll double it, in kind if I don't have the money. I have a lot of power I've been holding back to blend in."

"Don't bring back any more people to life, though," Castiel warned. "One is enough in this day and age without causing disruption in Heaven."

Mal sagged. "And of course the most important thing is off the table."

"I could make your ship crash-proof," Crowley offered as consolation. "Or wipe all records of previous criminal activities from the Cortex. Anything I can do and Castiel has no objection to, I'll do it, if you get this done. Give me a day to settle my business affairs and I'll come aboard."

...

Aziraphale's mortal shell, deprived of food, had become very thin and fragile. The most recent drugs had worn off and he flickered to consciousness. After River Tam left he had spoken telepathically, a little, to some of the other subjects, but none were coherent as she. He had at least found he could still walk in the children's dreams, sparing them the worst of their nightmares, and that had been a comfort both for him and they.

He was dressed in thin drawstring trousers and a gray long-sleeved shirt. No shoes or socks. The circle of holy fire around him had been placed in stasis so that it burned eternally, and besides the shackles on his wrists and ankles to were covered in demonic sigils that further limited his power.

"Time for more testing, birdy," cooed one of the demons that ran the upper levels of the Academy leadership, with blue rubber gloves and a case full of needles and vials in one hand. In the other hand he had a small sonic wand that Aziraphale knew only too well.

Aziraphale's throat, dry with fear, made his voice crack as he begged, "No, please, please, I won't fight. You don't need to do that."

The demon's eyes went full black. "Can't be taking risks, birdy. Don't worry, we both know it won't kill you, even if the only beings it has no effect on at all are from Hell."

Moments later, as Aziraphale lay quivering on the floor with blood leaking from every orifice, enough to drain any human twice over, the demon entered the circle. He whistled cheerfully while taking various samples from the angel's body, scanned his brainwaves with a small device - humans were so inventive - to analyze later, and then injected Aziraphale with another sedative. He patted Aziraphale's cheek in a mockery of tenderness before stepping out of the circle again.

"I have to thank you for your help to us. Once we can give these children even a tenth of the powers of angels, we can rescue Lucifer and bring him to humanity's new home." Then the demon strode away, even as Aziraphale fought the unconsciousness that was engulfing him.


	5. Chapter 5

Crowley and Castiel were efficient planners and schemers because neither of them had to stop to eat, sleep, wash, or use a lavatory. Sessions of poring over blueprints, contacting people through Crowley's handheld wave transmitter, and scribbling notes on a giant piece of paper someone had fetched from somewhere at some point could therefore go around the clock. They roped in members of the crew whenever possible.

Simon unfortunately got caught up in the plotting more often than anyone else did, since he had successfully gotten River out of the very same institution. It was Kaylee who noticed that he'd been awake and had been questioned to the point of exhaustion for nearly twenty hours. He had bags under his eyes and spoke very softly, drooping forward and then catching himself. "Ai-ya, divine mission or not, you two need to let Simon have a meal and a rest. He's only human." And she practically shoved a bowl of noodles at him.

After Simon stumbled off to his bunk, Castiel fetched River from hers. In his typical way he did this by suddenly appearing about two inches from her face. Fortunately River expected that sort of thing by now.

"I need you to give us more information about that place," he said.

"I told you everything I remember."

"Consciously, yes. I need you to let me read your mind."

She bit her lip. "I'm naked. You seem not to have noticed."

"I am familiar with the spectacle of the female form. Shall we proceed? I realize this is a frightening prospect but it is necessary to our success."

After a moment of consideration she nodded, but first she placed one of his hands over her mouth to keep in her screams.

When he had finished, she collapsed in his arms, tears seeping. He patted her back, rather mechanically, as if he had read in a book somewhere that this was a thing that comforted humans.

"Did you see it?" she asked after a while.

He did not need to ask what she meant. "Yes, I saw it."

"Are you surprised?''

"Not overly, though you have my compassion, such as it is. We should tell the others."

"Let me tell them, please. It's easier now that they've seen you."

...

Once the plan was more thoroughly sketched out, they had a general meeting. Castiel stood in the corner because there weren't enough chairs for everyone. He didn't mind. Crowley was at the head of the table, Mal to his right, Zoe to his left, Wash beside Zoe and Jayne beside Mal, then Kaylee and Simon across from one another, and River at the foot.

"Broader points first," Crowley began. "We can't let Simon be seen entering the Academy - his face is too well-known, and keeping up a glamour on two people at once will distract me beyond what is safe. River we need. River knows where Zira...A-a-ziraphale...she knows where..."

River said quietly, "I know. I trust you."

Crowley regained his composure. "Thanks, love. And River's a good fighter. Besides, we will be rescuing a fair number of human captives who may need medical attention."

"What if the captives attack us?" Mal asked. "When River was triggered subliminally she couldn't do nothin' _but _fight."

Castiel spoke up. "I took the preventive measure of changing River's 'safe word' when I was reading her mind, which I admit added to the discomfort of the experience. It is a phrase in Enochian, the angelic language, so holy that if a demon were to attempt to speak it they would burn to ashes. Meanwhile that Russian folk saying that used to work on her should be effective on the other psychic warriors if they are indeed deployed against us."

"Thank you." Crowley resumed, "Most weapons that work on humans will only make demons angry. All those entering the Academy should carry as much water blessed by Castiel as they can without it slowing them down. Except me, of course. It works they way a strong acid would on demons and is also an excellent way of testing whether someone actually is a demon or not. Castiel also needs to burn an anti-possession sigil on every single one of you."

"That sounds kinda painful," Wash muttered.

Castiel appeared beside Jayne. "It is brief. Let me demonstrate."

Jayne squawked when Castiel placed his palm on his chest. When Castiel removed his hand Jayne looked down his own shirt. "I don't see nothin'."

"I put it on your ribs so it cannot be removed. Visible on X-rays, though, so be prepared to lie convincingly."

Kaylee raised her hand. "Just a moment. Mr. Crowley, if you're a demon and demons possess people _without _permission, not like angels, who are you...wearing?"

Crowley smirked, his eyes flashing yellow for a moment. "I'm the oldest living demon, darling. I was the one sent to tempt Eve. There wasn't anyone suitable to possess back then. This body's bespoke, as it were."

"So's Aziraphale's," River added, drawing invisible circles on the floor with her bare feet.

"Yes. Right. So, we need Kaylee to help us disable doors and alarm systems. Castiel will be assigned to stay with her for her protection. He can destroy demons with just a touch. I need River with me, leading the way. Wash will stay on the ship so that he can bring it closer if we need rescue; though as long as you remain in the atmosphere both Castiel and I will be able to teleport people aboard. Back to weapons. We need shotgun shells full of rock salt - salt purifies. Use those instead of bullets. Explosions work by completely obliterating the body of the possessed individual but we will avoid those if possible so as not to harm those we're trying to rescue. Swords are effective in incapacitating, not always killing."

"I have a question," Zoe said. She'd been holding Wash's hand the whole time. She did that a lot, and no one blamed her.

"Yes?"

"Do we have any idea what the demons actually want with Aziraphale?:

River rose to her feet, trembling a little. She looked from person to person with a scalpel-blade gaze. "Just cutting a girl, no matter how bright a shining star she is inside, it makes her just less than what she was. You have to add things in order to make things. You have to mix iron with the carbon to make steel."

The ship began to shudder and the lights flicker. Simon reached for her. "_Meimei..."_

"It won't damage the ship. She's just a little one. Half-breed stitched-together little angeling, so close yet so far to the sky that should be her home. Don't you see? They've been slicing away at Aziraphale, first angel on Earth-That-Was, to make children of the new Earths to angels - angels they want to lead and force to tear down Heaven."

It hurt to show the shadows of her wings, but a good, freeing hurt, like tearing off a scab. She wondered if one day she could take the mask off fully instead of just giving a peek. Simon understood but would never fully comprehend how much she owed him for finding her when there was any human left at all.


End file.
